I’m tempted to call this entry ‘I Hate Jellyfish,’ because, well, I do. I really, really do. Abhorrent, sick creatures. I’ll get back to this later.
Not much happened in Krabi Town. Jay got sick, so other than taking a few pictures of a crab sculpture, we mostly stayed in the room.
Eventually, we caught a city bus to the coast of Krabi, specifically Ao Nang beach. The ‘bus’ is called a Songthaew (pronounced song- too, which I will misspell many times during the course of this blog) and is a pickup truck that has benches in the back and a welded roof on top. Each truck is color coordinated for their route, and the stops are pretty much in front of 7-11’s.
So, a cab would cost us around 500 Baht, but we get the songthaew and traveled for 100 Baht for both of us.
Ao Nang: Ko Tao but worse. More tourists. Actually, more white people than Thais. Everything is geared toward the tourists which means everything is also marked up quite a bit. Maybe because it’s a jumping off point to more islands, Ko Phi Phi being the most popular.
Side Note: We have decided to forego Phi Phi and Ko Phangan, deciding to go with the more relaxed and chill island of Koh Lanta. Again, more on that later.
The majority of Thais have been extremely friendly and helpful, just the ones being in tourist districts tend to be jaded. Can’t say I blame them – tourists, by and large, can be dicks. I recently read a quote about working in retail, but I’m sure it can be applied to the tourist trade. I’ll paraphrase – “Imagine all customers are a race of people, and you’re racist.”
Jay, who is awesome, and I settle into our hotel room at the ToTo Residence. The room is very clean and nice, with a nice balcony overlooking our street. Across from us is a little strip of tiny food shops, which again I’ve noticed open late, some even after 10am.
The owner of ToTo is fantastically nice. Thais are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and might be the happiest, most content people I’ve ever come across. This woman is very friendly, and has a great sense of humor. She seems to really care about your well-being.
Like most places, the hotel is attached to a restaurant. However, to get to the hotel, you have to walk through the restaurant, which is kind of cool. I always felt like I was in Goodfellas as I walked past the patrons, and went up the stairs in the back. VIP!
Now that I think about how rad I found that to be, maybe I’m pretty boring. Meh, I left everything behind and I’m in Thailand, so I can’t be that boring.
We did an all you can eat BBQ, the first we saw in Thailand, that was above our budget (TJ’s Sports Bar) but it was pretty good and had some terrible spaghetti carbonara. Western food is really hit or miss here.
So to get to Koh Lanta you take a bus and a boat. Transportation here continues to astound me. We get picked up outside our hotel room in a van. We pick up a few more people from other hotels. We arrive at a pier. We all think this is where we catch our ferry. Nope. Into a bigger van with more people we go.
We all expect to get out to go on a different ferry. Nope. The van goes on the ferry. Then the driver drops us off at our various accommodations, which was nice. The problem was the driver had a hard time finding them all. The ironic thing was that three of them were right beside each other.
We got picked up at noon, and we were supposed to be in Koh Lanta at either 1:30 or 3:30. We arrived at 5:30. An hour and a half turned into a five and a half hour journey. How does anyone get anywhere here?
Here’s a note regarding the long van ride. Actually two – Don’t ‘bro’ out and don’t assume no one else speaks English.
An English guy and a guy from Santa Cruz (I know this because they spoke so goddam loud) were in the back seat, beside an Asian family with a child. As soon as they sat together, the dick swinging contest began. For once, I don’t blame the English guy. Santa Cruz was swearing uncontrollably, bragging about his exploits (partying, drugs, sex, etc) and being loud enough the whole van could hear him.
I honestly think Johnny English was just being polite to him. Santa Cruz was just talking about himself. When he started talking about putting his hand down a girl’s pants at a club, taking a risk if the person was a lady-boy or not, Jay asked if they could keep it clean. To his credit, he agreed and wasn’t rude.
A minute or two later, I overheard him say he assumed no one else spoke English. Really buddy? Two people in the very front? English. Three people behind them? English. Jay and I? English. Even the driver spoke English a bit, which is why I suspect he turned on the radio to drown you out. The only people that may not have spoken English was the Asian family beside you.
We arrive at our bungalow and head to the beach. Well, this beach at Klong Khong is disappointing. The tide is out, revealing the massive coral rocks in the sand. We walk along the coral about fifty yards out where there’s some water. On the way, Jay points out some sea urchins that are nestled under the rocks in tiny puddles. I’m already a little freaked out by the ocean, this doesn’t help.
We walk back to the beach and then along it until we find a spot that’s clear of the debris of rocks and take a quick swim. The water is perfectly flat until a wave comes out of nowhere and knocks you down. Pretty rad. Back to the bungalow!
Oh, our bungalows are not right on the beach either. To get to the ocean from where we are, we have to walk through a pretty nice resort that has a pool, crossing over a rickety bridge in the process. Talk about feeling like you’re from the other side of the tracks.
We decided to be frugal this time out, opting for the fan room with no AC, based on the bungalow at O’Chai that only had a fan and it wasn’t too bad. Our mistake.
This room is hot. There are two windows that have no breeze coming in. With the heat and humidity in Thailand, it’s nice to escape back into a cool room. It says something that to get a cool break, we’d go outside into our porch area.
The next day we rent a scooter and check out more of the island, along with scoping out another beach to stay at. I’ve never driven a scooter, moped, minibike, motorcycle, or anything of the like. Our resort didn’t have any more scooters to rent, so we went next door to Pinky’s. The owner of this place is a really rad lady. She’s friendly, funny, outgoing, and a little boisterous. She rents us the scooter despite me never having driven one. She shows us how to turn it on, pop the seat, where the brakes are and off we go!
Now I love driving a scooter. I really don’t know why they make it so hard to get one in Ontario. If you have a drivers license (so you know the rules of the road) and have driven a bike, you’re qualified.
Did I mention I hate Jellyfish?
We get to Long Beach, which is the beach north of ours, and it’s a very good looking beach. It’s long (surprise), the sand is white, and the resorts are spread out so it’ll never feel crowded. Jay and I decide to take a dip.
After about five minutes, I feel these little stings/ bites. I look around, as fish are prone to biting me. Nothing. Jay notices it too. A few stings on our bare skin, but the majority of them occur on our covered areas. We get out. It still stings. It feels like getting a light taser. We get out of the water but the stings keep occurring. A Google search is in our future.
We go north to another beach, the last bay north of the island. We find it and it looks nice but we’re both scared to go into the water.
We elect to go south, where the beaches are better and more deserted of tourists. On our way, we find an animal shelter where you can walk the dogs. We both love dogs, and this sounds fun.
The people bring us a mother and son team, a bag of things for the dogs like water and a bowl, give us instructions and a map, and off we go.
Our dogs are stubborn. If they don’t want to go down a certain path, they just don’t. they want to go where they want to go, no negotiation. When they’ve had enough walking, they just lay down. Jay’s dog (the son, Alfie) ate a dried up frog, grass, and these weird things that fell off the trees. Oddly enough, they didn’t care for the chickens scurrying around nearby.
My dog (Lady) was particularly fond of laying down until I picked her up and started walking with her. She licked my face as I did this and I didn’t really have a problem again.
We didn’t find the southern parts of the island because we got lost and ended up on the eastern side of the island, which is kind of incredible because there’s only like, two roads that go over there and we somehow found one of them.
Google: Sea lice, aka, Seabathers eruption.
Stupid Jellyfish let go of their larvae, which is microscopic, and moves along close to the surface of the water. Our goal was to move to another resort with a nicer beach. My goal now is to find a beach with no sea lice. I spend the rest of the night Googling sea lice and trying to find a beach without the little bastards. We decide on the most northern beach, Klong Dao.
We arrive at Diamond Sands Resort, run by Mr. Mat, who seems like a pretty cool cat. The bungalows are nice and have AC. The beach is gorgeous as well – white sands, resorts spread out, no rocks etc.
I now spend my day Googling Jellyfish. I do not like what I find.
We decide to swim. I try to get as close to the seniors that are swimming as I can without making it awkward. I figure they’ll get stung before I do. It doesn’t take them long to leave the water.
We get a couple stings, but they’re minor, and few and far between. Swimming at Long Beach was not only not enjoyable, it was unbearable.
Jellyfish are a useless monstrosity of a creature. Seriously, Google the purpose of a Jellyfish. You’ll find ‘eat, reproduce, die.’ END OF LIST. I really don’t care if they’re the oldest creature on Earth at 700 million years old, they can go away now, they had their time. The most useful thing I read about Jellyfish is that turtles eat them. I had turtles, and I know they eat other things as well, so that’s not a good enough purpose.
I Google ‘how to kill a Jellyfish’ because I hate them so much, but nope. One of these little shits actually lives forever. It’s cleverly called the immortal Jellyfish. Seriously, what the hell?!?!?!
There’s a Jellyfish called Man O War. The most dangerous creature in the world is a Box Jellyfish, found in northern Australia and, you guessed it, Thailand. It can kill an adult in minutes. They’re almost invisible because there’s no substance to these hell-spawns. No brain, no heart, no point.
Another Jellyfish grows seven feet wide with a stinger reaching a hundred feet. Get bent, Jellyfish.
Seriously Jellyfish, go to hell. And take mosquitos and sand bugs with you. My legs and feet are not your buffet. You’re all useless and offer nothing. Mosquitos, you literally suck the life out of things. You’re the Debbie Downer of the ecosystem.
Just leave, no one wants you here.