Determined to check out the southern part of Koh Lanta, we rented another scooter and took off, this time in the correct direction. The roads this way are much more steep and curvy. The further south you drive, the less people you encounter.
Our goal is to get to the lighthouse in the National Park at the southern tip of the island, stopping to take a quick dip at any beaches we deem adequate for us.
After taking a quick break on top of a large hill to admire the vista, we find our first mini beach, which ran beside the road. Jay, who is awesome, walked in right away, but I stopped when I saw a clear, gelatinous blob in the sand. I didn’t want to take the chance of it being a Jellyfish.
We stop at another beach, and notice a couple more of these blobs. This beach has nice views, but was a little weird. There were six people in the water in our vicinity, comprised of three couples, all of which were in their fifties or later, and all were making out. Some weird ocean version of an Eyes Wide Shut party. Oddly enough, we still swam there. Even odder, we didn’t make out.
The next beach we skip, deciding instead to go straight to the lighthouse, but we captured some amazing photos from a viewpoint overlooking the entire bay.
After paying to get into this part of the National Park (which we weren’t expecting) we hike to the lighthouse.
You can easily commit suicide here. Seriously. There’s a path, then after that, certain death. No rails, no signs, no warnings. There’s not even a dude there saying “that’s a bad idea.” Just a path, then an immediate drop off. Safety be damned in Thailand.
This is the most southern beach in Koh Lanta so we have to swim. Jay gets her ass kicked by the waves and has to get out to rinse the salt from her eyes. As we walk back to the water to re-enter, we see it, washed up onto the sand.
The hideous Jellyfish.
It’s a small one, but still a Jellyfish all the same. Then we spot another, then another washes on shore before the tide takes it out again. We look into the water and spot three more. It’s my nightmare, but I do take pleasure in watching these little demons wash ashore and dry out, suffering until they’re wiped from the Earth.
Don’t you dare feel bad for the Jellyfish. They don’t have a heart or a brain, remember? No soul.
We leave that beach which is the entrance to Hades apparently, and decide to stock up on water. Jay decides to get an ice cream bar from the canteen as well.
There’s a sign that says don’t feed the monkeys, but no one tells you they’re going to attack you like orcs if you have food. As soon as we leave the canteen four monkeys crank their heads to Jay in their best Exorcist impression. They charge us.
I tell Jay to throw the ice cream, and she heaves it at the lead monkey. My girl can throw! They disperse. I hope you get diabetes you pig monkey.
Remember the last time we encountered monkeys they tried to take my water bottle? They got it this time. It was empty so I left it on the scooter. It was gone when we got back.
Monkeys. You’re on my list. I even defended you to Jay. She was right about you. You’re all just Godless heathens.
We pass a bookstore Jay wants to check out on the way back so we turn around to go. As we’re waiting for a break in traffic, a dog comes over and hops on the scooter, then sits. Cutest Hitchhiker Ever. He just sat there waiting for us to go. I named him adorable. We took him across the street with us, then feeling jipped on the short journey, he left.
Until next time little buddy.
Oh, and after a dip by sunset, we decide the beach we’re currently staying at is just fine. There were zero stings in the water, and not one Jellyfish ruining our lives.
Some other pics
